Facebook Friday! 1. Sorry if this is really obvious, but is there a difference between distraction techniques and coping mechanisms when dealing with self harm urges? I haven’t self harmed in a few months because I’ve become quite good at distracting myself by listening to music etc, but the feelings still come back over and over again without becoming any weaker or less frequent. I think this might be because I haven’t actually developed any healthy coping mechanisms so my brain still decides I should sh, but what actually are some examples of healthy coping mechanisms?
2. #KATIFAQ When i have negative thoughts, how do i decide which i should argue back to and which i need to try and just dismiss without getting sucked in to a pointless ‘discussion’ with? Sometimes arguing back helps but other times it leads to a whole load of more answers back from the negative ‘voice’.
3. #KatiFAQ Hey Kati! I really need an answer to this question I’ve been nagged with. How long can my eating disorder survive? I stopped recovery 3 years ago and I think I’m close to relapsing, but is that even possible? I self-harmed last night for the first time in a year and I’m really getting worried. Is it even possible for an eating disorder to survive for nearly 7 years? HELP!
Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose. To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems in your life, you are the only solution. –Jo Coudert
1. Hey Kati, why do I crave sympathy from others? I’m willing to go as far as hurting myself just to seek sympathy from mostly teachers at school. I’m not sure if this is part of my father being an alcoholic who doesn’t say “I love you” or want to hang out with me but I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Please help. Thank you for all your videos they help me get through a lot
2. Is it common to be attached to using a certain plate/ bowl/ etc during you ED recovery? Is it harmful if it reduces your anxiety around eating and why do we do this?
3. I always feel worthless and hopeless, like my life is stuck in a place I don’t want and that it will never get better. Like even the fairly low expectations I have for my life, even those seem impossible and that everything I do is utterly pointless and just a waste of my time and worse, a waste on those around me. People seem to think I have potential, that I’m good at things, that I’m a good person, but I feel like just telling them that I’m sorry, but they were wrong and I’m sorry for wasting their time.
I feel like everything is wrong in my life and I only have myself to blame. Honestly there really isn’t much wrong with my life, which mostly just makes me feel worse about the way I am. I think about suicide a lot, practically every day for as long as I can remember.
Yet I don’t even care enough to want to change things, myself, my situation, or my thoughts. I don’t want to get “better” anymore. I tried counseling a bit and didn’t get much out of it; Paxil worked a bit better, but eventually just stopped a long time ago now.
I feel like I deserve this. Do you hear sentiments like that a lot and how do you handle them?
1. #KatiFAQ how can you cope in a close relationship with someone who has depression? I feel as if I’m trying all the time to make an effort, be there for her & prove I care, & yet the only things she picks up on are the times I don’t reply immediately or forget to do something & that, to her, proves I don’t care. I know it’s her illness but I find it really hard to put in so much love & it not matter. I’m ashamed to say I’m starting to resent it. What can I do?
2. Could i be faking a depression?I’m 21 year old girl,and I have checked out symptoms on depression and I match with being irritable, getting tired, headaches, tight throat, nail biting, overwhelming feelings, numbness, overthinking isolation, not wanting to communicate with anyone, losing interest in stuff etc. but I dont know if this is just normal or if im making this all up in my head. This actually started for about a year , and it intensified for the past months.
3. #KatiFAQ Whenever I see or hear that “recovery is a choice that only you can make” or anything along those lines I feel so guilty that I am not recovered yet, and that it is my fault yet again because I am not recovered yet. In your opinion, what does “recovery is a choice” actually mean? Does it mean that if I wanted to recover I would be and every mistake or relapse or spiral is me not trying hard enough or not wanting it enough or not making the choice?
Life is like riding a bicycle, in order to keep your balance you have to keep moving.
1. KatiFAQ Hi Kati, can a therapist keep changing your diagnosis? At first when I (re) started therapy a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with dystimic disorder. Later she changed it to chronic depression and now she changed it again, to PTSD. Can a therapist keep changing your diagnosis, and why/ why not?
2. #katiFAQ Hey Kati,is it possible to stay on medication for life? I’ve been diagnosed with OCD,social anxiety and depression and immediately put on meds(Zoloft).I feel completely reborn,all my anxiety and depression gone but I’m afraid they will reduce the medication intake.
3. Hey Kati, recently I was told by my therapist that I’m “not my depression and anxiety” and to work on identifying my identity without either of those diagnoses. How am I meant to separate my depression and anxiety from my personality, especially when I’m a naturally pessimistic person? I’m not even sure I am much of anything without them, because I’ve shaped my life and personality to include and give power to them. How do I find my identity without depression if I’m still suffering from it and where is the line drawn between my real voice and my depression voice? Sorry,that’s a lot of questions.
You’re a superstar kati, thank you for all your videos, they really help!
Journal Topic? “If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?”
Can you recover without working on the underlying issues? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
1. I went to my previous psychiatrist today for a second opinion. Same diagnosis. Bulimia it is. I just came home and threw everything in the kitchen away. Would that help in any way or would that take me to the other end?
2. Hi Kati. Thank you so much for all you do, it has really impacted my life. Recently I have been trying to get my life together and I have realized that I have a few at least semi toxic if not toxic people in my life. The problem is that they are the closest people to me. I am lucky enough to truly have amazing parents but there is so much negativity that surrounds them that it is becoming a problem for me. Also my best friend is struggling with issues and as much as I love her it is making it extremely hard to maintain a friendship with her. I feel like I can’t cut these people off as I love them more than anything. What can I do to sort of distance myself from the toxicity without ruining my relationship with them? Thank you so much!
3. This might be a silly question, but can you recover without really working on underlying issues? If you learn new healthy coping skills, & implement them instead of unhealthy coping skills, can you just replace the unhealthy skill with a healthy 1 until it becomes more 2nd nature than the unhealthy 1? I can’t see why not!
I was reading the mortal instruments series (really good btw) & a character said: “Heroes aren’t always the ones who win. They’re the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back They don’t give up. That’s what makes them heroes.” It really resonated with me, I think we often focus too much on whether or not we’re winning, when actually the getting back up & carrying on fighting is way more important.
1. Hi #katifaq Love your videos :) My question is: What to do if you think you’re the toxic friend/person?
2. Hey @KatiMorton , could my back injury be causing my depression to flair up? Or is it just coincidence?
3. #katiFAQ is non-purging bulimia as serious as other eds? My aunt
told me she has it, because she fasts and exercises after a binge… Xx Sorry for asking this question everywhere! It’s just been bugging me
4. Hey Kati! :) Recently I picked up the courage to tell my mom that I had been sexually abused by three relations of ours. A few weeks later she told me that she didn’t want to tell anyone else as I am underage and would have to get social services involved, that we would get through it along with my sister. However, one of the people was my grandpa, who is ill, and everyone pitches in a night to help our granny. Its almost like I never told her a thing, if anything it seems like she is spending more time with him. I thought I could handle it at the start but lately it has been really getting to me (with the other2 also) and getting me down. She asked if I wanted to tell dad and I said yes because I thought it would be a strain on their marriage if she had to keep that sort of secret but I don’t think she has told him yet I have struggled with self harm, depression and disordered eating in the past and have gotten help for it but I know I need specialist help to deal with this as I know it is the source of all these other ‘coping skills’, but I cant until I’m 18 and I’m worried this will hold back college. could I become a therapist with my past issues? anyway sorry for the long message and I understand you’re really busy so I get it if you cant reply. thank you and I love your videos xxx
Hey Kati Just been listening to Christina Perri: human so relate to the lyrics right now journal topic my be what songs would people put to What emotion and why!!! For instance if I need im powering I blast out some pink if I am anxious just some tranquil relaxing music!! If I am happy some cheesy pop And if I am depressed linkin park definitely use this don’t use it but you are awesome never forget that
How much anxiety is too much? Website/YouTube Wednesday! #KatFAQ
1. I wondered if any of you have experience recovering from an ED without the support of a treatment team. Treatment isn’t an option for me at the moment, and I’ve been finding my meals really difficult lately. I don’t know whether it’s better to be planning my meals ahead of time to reach all the recommended daily amounts, or letting my body give me the cues and eating when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m full. The problem is that I find it very difficult to make a healthy plan – it often triggers me to restrict, but with intuitive eating I think I drift towards restriction unconsciously.
Any tips would be really great, do you go for intuitive eating or meal planning in recovery? I’m a little stuck at the moment!!
2. #katifaq (hope I’m not to late). Can older people have eating disorders? My grandmother just turned 70 and she doesn’t eat. She isn’t super skinny but she seems to be losing weight quite rapidly and complains saying she is fat all the time. I’m worried about her! Help! What can I do to help her???
3. #KatiFAQ Hi Kati, when do you know how much anxiety is too much? For example, last year I used to throw up from stress almost every morning, and from what I remember that lasted several months (I’ve overcome that now, although I still throw up from time to time). Is that considered excessive? Thank you, I love your videos. :)
Find two songs that describe you(or your mental illness). Or two poems. Or plants, animals, shoes, really anything that you can find meaning in. The first one that you pick is who you consider yourself to be now. The second one you pick is the one you want to become some day. Then somehow express how you’re going to get there(whether it’s through journaling, painting, signing.. etc.).
That might be confusing, so here’s my example. I chose a snake and an elephant to describe me and my mental illness. Snake because I find them sneaky, sometimes mean and poisonous. They also get a really bad rap. A lot of people are scared of them. Then the elephant, what I’m working towards. There are many reasons I chose an elephant, but one of them is because they leave big footprints wherever they go. I’ve always felt invisible, but no one can ignore the elephant in the room. They have a great memory and I want to be memorable. Since I’m quiet and shy, people don’t usually remember me. I’m working towards getting over my anxiety so I can be more outgoing and leave an impact on the people I interact with.
My counselor said she’s frustrated with me! Help! Facebook Friday! #KatiFAQ
1. Do u ever have ed patients in therapy that have NO idea anymore what they like? Colors, music, styles…I feel lost. You said that trying new things will help. But how can if we like nothing, trying new things will help. i know that i dont like anything even the new stuff.
2. #KATIFAQ! ! My counselor told me she is frustrated. Cause I ask for help but don’t accept the help so she doesn’t know how to help me. I don’t realize im doing that. I feel bad she is frustrated. I’m also frustrated. Does this mean im a untreatable client? ! I’ve been seeing 2 counselors and a social worker for a yr/ yr in a half. Plus saw counselors b4 that. Im gonna be 21, and im not improving. I refuse hospitals cuz im scared and my family wld b really mad. I don’t want to have that happen again. How can I improve? Or is this my life?
3. #KatiFAQ Hey Kati, I’m not sure if this is too late, but in your recent video you mentioned that a person has to be ‘ready’ to heal, but how do we know that we are ready and how can we prepare ourselves to become ready? I’m not sure whether that actually makes sense, so feel free to avoid this question. Also thank you for all that you do , you are truly a phenomenal person!
I watched the film ‘about time’ last week, about a man who can travel back in time over his own timeline. At the end he said ‘I live each day as if I’ve come back to enjoy it as my last and enjoy all the wonderful, little moments of my amazing, ordinary life. After all, we’re all travelling through time together, the least we can do is enjoy the ride.’ I loved this because it reminded me of the joy that can be found in the ordinary moments of the most mundane day. There’s beauty in everyone’s life if you just look for it.
Will going to therapy cause me to completely lose my mind? Website/YouTube Wednesday! #KatiFAQ
1. #katiFAQ Can you recover if you’re job focuses on your body? I am in professional training as a dancer, actress and singer and you mentioned before how you’ve had clients who did these jobs & found it harder to recover. Because what I do entails hours of exercise a day, is it possible for me to recover from my ed? I know that I need to in order to be healthy enough to fulfill my career, but my body is always going to be judged. Thanks! Been wondering and hearing conflicting things about this, which really upsets me because I know I’m passionate about the career I’ve chosen and would be lost without it xxx
2. #KatiFAQ What do you think about holistic medicine (acupuncture) for mental health related things, such as depression, anxiety, and eating disorders? What do you think of it as a compliment to therapy, or an alternative to medication?
I know the World Health Organization recognizes it as an effective form of treatment for many conditions. What do you think I recently tried acupuncture and I think it was extremely helpful.
3. Hi Kati!! Thank you for all you do, you are just amazing! Anyway, I am going into my junior year of college and all summer I have been seeing the same therapist three times a week. I really love her and am making great progress. I am going to school in a little over a week, far away from home and I won’t be able to meet with her in person. We have planned to continue sessions over skype three times a week. I was just wondering if you think it will be equally productive? I am just worried because I feel like meeting someone in person is more beneficial because therapists pick up on little things like body language but I don’t want to switch because I feel so comfortable with her.
4. Hi Kati,
I have been referred to a hospital mental health section to deal with my issues by my psychiatrist. He referred me last year also but I refused to go hoping that I will just be able to cope on my own. The thing is I was in therapy a few years ago in CAMHS but she left when I was just getting better. I’m scared to trust someone again and I am petrified to talk& open up about where ally problems have come from (childhood sexual abuse from 8yrs-14yrs). When I let myself think about what happened its as if he is inside my head& controls me. I’m not in control of my thoughts or actions and am worried I will kill myself if I start to open up about it. But clearly going on the way I am is not healthy and I’m just getting worse. I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I’ve never spoke about it cause I had a court case for 3eeeks about it and had to speak in court and everything. (He got not guilty)
I want to get better, but I genuinely feel if I go down this route of talking about it all again I will completely loose my mind. I need your advice. Sometimes I think I can’t be bothered to fight anymore cause he’s already won xxx
@KatiMorton the greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people will think. #journaltopic Thanks Brent!
Is it normal to love my abuser? Facebook Friday! #KatiFAQ
1. #katiFAQ hi kati I’m 18 and I was raped for 7 years by my neighbor he is 50 years old , I’ve been seeing him every day for 7 years and I feel that I love him although I started feeling this new so is it normal or do I need help to get through this ?! Please help .
2. #KatiFAQ hey Kati. i have depression and anxiety but they are both self diagnosed. i have asked my parents to take me somewhere, where i can talk to someone and get help. but the are ashamed and don’t want to believe that i have problems. its really hard because i have to hide everything from them. what are some ways i can get help without them knowing? btw i LOVE your videos
3. #KatiFAQ: hi Kati, my question is: is it possible to have bpd tendencies but not the actual disorder? I went back to seeing my old therapist after being discharged from treatment and one of the first things she asked me was if I was diagnosed with bpd. They didn’t tell me I was but it seems my therapist thinks I am I guess?! So is it possible to have just the symptoms? Thanks!!
Hi Kati, Thank you for everything you do. I have a suggestion for a journal topic. “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, of work around it.” -Michael Jordan I love this quote because no matter what come in your way you should never give up. Even if you hit a wall and you’re stuck there for awhile never give up because you will always find a way to get over it. Thank you again for everything you do and have an amazing weekend. -Alexandra
How do I overcome my apathy for recovery? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
1. What Is Outpatient Group Therapy Like For Eating Disorders I Never Been Their But I’m Going Soon And I’m Really Scared. Will I have to eat there?
2. #KatiFAQ is there such thing as only having an ed at a certain time of day like at night? @KatiMorton
3. I will be doing really well, and then for no reason I will just stop caring about recovery, my goals and myself. Nothing that used to drive me before matters. How can I fight through this apathy? Thanks.
Journal Topic: Thanks Millie!
“We cannot judge a song by it’s duration, nor by the number of notes, we must judge it by the way it touches and lifts our soul” –anon
This quote always helps me to focus on the things that really matter in life. Your appearance and all those little things you think you need to be perfect, don’t matter, what really matters is the way you lift other people and the ways you can bring happiness into the world.
How can I let myself cry?!? Website/YouTube Wednesday! #KatiFAQ
1. #katifaq What is your opinion on documentaries, movies, and TV shows on eating disorders and self harm? Do you think it might glamorize it and give people ideas or do you think it spreads awareness? Also do non disordered people watch things like that? Thanks!
2. #KatiFAQ How do I know which level of ED treatment I should aim for? I’m currently seeing a counselor, and I’ll be able to see a GP soon. How do I know if this is enough, or if I should seek further treatment? Thanks!
3. #KatiFAQ What are your thoughts on the Rubber Band Theory for people who self harm? I was just given an elastic from my therapist to use to try and replace cutting, but I have also heard it doesn’t “count” because you are still harming yourself. Any thoughts? Thank you!
4. Kati I have been in years of counseling and even been in a psych ward and a residential home for girls for 6 months and I can tell my story over and over again about the abuse, and all that fun stuff….but I just cant seem to let myself cry during the sessions…I think parts of it is fear of letting go….I hate to lose control, which is why I still struggle with Self harm (11 years) and an eating disorder(9 years)…Could it possibly be that I fear of getting betrayed by my counselor again? I have been to about 6 different counselors and the first two betrayed my trust with them. Is that causing a stumbling block with my current one? Could trust play a factor? I want to cry I really do. I just cant get myself to do it..its like everything numbs up in session….
Journal Topic: Thanks Rachel!! xox
Hi Kati! So this isn’t really a quote but I think it is definitely something to think about/thought provoking. Today in therapy, I was complaining about my ED and things just being really difficult in recovery. I said how I hope that what I have been through is the hardest thing that I will ever face in my life. To which my therapist responded, “Believe it is until life proves you wrong.” I just thought this was amazing and could maybe help others in their outlooks in any given situation
How can I tell my healthy voice and Eating Disorder voice apart? Facebook Friday! #KatiFAQ
1. #katiFAQ hi kati! I was sexually abused in my past and I currently have an eating disorder. Is it possible for the two to be linked without me consciously realizing it? I know people use it as a coping tool to deal with flashbacks etc, but I never thought of my eating disorder being related. Just curious! Thanks
2. #katifaq In recovery, how can you tell your healthy voice and your ED voice apart? Sometimes I find myself refusing ‘bad’ foods, and I’m not sure if it’s because I actually don’t want them, or my ED voice telling me I can’t have them. Likewise, a binge will often start with what I think is my healthy voice, reasoning that I want the food and shouldn’t deny myself. How can I tell if the thought comes from a healthy or an unhealthy place? Thank you for everything you do, you’ve really helped me so much xxx
3. #KatiFAQ Hi Kati! I hope you are having a great day! I have a question for you. As you know, I used to struggle with self-harm and other mental health issues, and am now recovered and in medical school. Last night my roommate (who is also a med student) came home and started telling me about a teenage patient she had seen in her pediatric clinic who had “nasty scars and cuts all over her arms from cutting herself” and how it made her really uncomfortable to look at, discuss, and document in her chart. I really wanted to open up about my own experience, but for some reason I couldn’t. Instead I discussed the issue in terms of patients I have seen and how I would handle it, in an attempt to get her to be less judgmental. Do you think that in order to help end the stigma it is necessary to be open about personal experience or is it enough to be aware and try to help others be more sensitive without disclosing? Obviously it is inappropriate to share personal experience with patients, but I am wondering about friends and colleagues. Negative stigma and lack of understanding clearly exists, so is not sharing simply personal and professional self-preservation, or are we actually doing harm and perpetuating the stigma by acting ashamed or afraid of being judged? I am wondering what your thoughts are. Thanks
Journal Topic: (thanks Kaylinn!)
#journaltopic #katifaq Its a little long but I love analogies.. Think back to when you were small and learning to ride a bike.. You fell. Right? But you didn’t give up. It felt good when you got back up and started riding it. Now think about how good it will feel to get back on your feet and start fighting the daily battles you have. Your gonna fall but don’t give up it felt good to ride a bike its gonna feel amazing when you win this fight your in.
I thought this was great because when we were small the only worries we had was the small things like learning to ride a bike. So what makes me feel good? What makes me feel like I can keep battling against SH ED.. What ever it is!
1. Hi Kati, thanks for all you do for everyone. I’m sure you have 100s of asks so not sure if you’ll see this one. I was diagnosed 2years ago with BPD& dysthymic disorders & have been in therapy for over 5 years (I’m now 20) Are there patients with BPD that struggle with it forever? I feel like I’ve done everything, DBT, 5 inpatients, meds, therapy, but still feel like I’m always going to have this distorted thought process. I do have an AMAZING therapist of 4 years but I’m afraid I’ll get ‘dumped’
2. #katifaq hey kati, love your videos! Anyway I’m just really curious about something. I know that what your clients tell you is confidential, but can you, as a therapist, tell your own personal therapist something that one of your clients tells you? Not sure if that makes sense. But if a client tells you something that upset you, could you talk to your therapist about it? Or would that be breaking confidentiality?
3. #katiFAQ Hi Kati, my question is … If you have been diagnosed with bipolar what would the best kind of therapy would be? My therapist specialises in DBT but from my understanding that is most useful for treating BPD, is that correct? What sort of therapy/therapist should I be searching for? Thanks heaps!! Love your channel! xo
4. Oh goodness I forgot to hashtag my question ! #katifaq I’ll ask again , so the clinical psychologist I have to see weekly said I shouldn’t try an control my anxiety , I shouldn’t control my breathing , I shouldn’t clench my fist and I shouldn’t try an distract my self from the anxious thoughts , I just don’t understand ? What’s ur opinion ?
5. #katiFAQ why do ed’s often change? Eg. Anorexic to bulimic? Love your channel it’s fantastic
6. Hi Kati. I’ve been dealing with an ED for about 14 years and SH for about 8, but I don’t feel like I want to “recover”. Any tips?