1. #katiFAQ Hi Kati. I was wondering why I get so tired after disassociating. Every time I leave an appointment afterwards I feel like I need to take a nap. If my mind is shutting down and not doing anything while I disassociate then shouldn’t I be refreshed or calm or something not tired? Thanks so much for helping.
2. Don’t you have a right to your psychological records (therapist notes) from your therapist? I want mine but she wouldn’t release them to me. What do I do?
3. What type of therapy would you suggest for severe anxiety? (not interested in meds) I’ve been to many therapists and none of them helped. Is it possible that therapy isn’t for me? Why isn’t anything helpful? They are supposedly good with a PhD. Really giving up here.
Can you recover without working on the underlying issues? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
1. I went to my previous psychiatrist today for a second opinion. Same diagnosis. Bulimia it is. I just came home and threw everything in the kitchen away. Would that help in any way or would that take me to the other end?
2. Hi Kati. Thank you so much for all you do, it has really impacted my life. Recently I have been trying to get my life together and I have realized that I have a few at least semi toxic if not toxic people in my life. The problem is that they are the closest people to me. I am lucky enough to truly have amazing parents but there is so much negativity that surrounds them that it is becoming a problem for me. Also my best friend is struggling with issues and as much as I love her it is making it extremely hard to maintain a friendship with her. I feel like I can’t cut these people off as I love them more than anything. What can I do to sort of distance myself from the toxicity without ruining my relationship with them? Thank you so much!
3. This might be a silly question, but can you recover without really working on underlying issues? If you learn new healthy coping skills, & implement them instead of unhealthy coping skills, can you just replace the unhealthy skill with a healthy 1 until it becomes more 2nd nature than the unhealthy 1? I can’t see why not!
I was reading the mortal instruments series (really good btw) & a character said: “Heroes aren’t always the ones who win. They’re the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back They don’t give up. That’s what makes them heroes.” It really resonated with me, I think we often focus too much on whether or not we’re winning, when actually the getting back up & carrying on fighting is way more important.
1. hi kati! ive found that journaling really helps me organize my thoughts and feelings but my mother has been caught reading my journal on multiple occasions unapologetically. no matter what i do she keeps finding it and invading my privacy and it makes me want to stop journaling even though its really beneficial for me. help!
2. #katifaq What if it isnt your first go around? Like what if youve seen what admitting things does to your family and now that you are supposed to be better you cant tell them youre not?
3. #katiFAQ hi I was wondering how can you try to stop suicidal thoughts because I have tried distraction and talking about it but it is constantly there and I can’t get rid of it, I self harm nearly everyday and I am in a cycle of it now any ideas thank you!
4. #katifaq is it possible to go into therapy even if you’re happy? Do you have to be going through an illness to have therapy?
Make a cut out of your hand in construction paper or cardboard. Fill it in with stories your hand could tell, and what it has overcome (scars, calluses etc).
Sometimes verbal abuse is so bad that you actually start believing what someone says to you.You begin to think you’re stupid, ugly or fat. You agree that nobody else would ever want to be in a relationship with you. Constantly being criticized and told you aren’t good enough causes you to lose confidence and lowers your self esteem. As a result, you may start to blame yourself for your partner’s abusive behavior.
Remember — emotional abuse is never your fault. In fact, your partner may just be trying to control or manipulate you into staying in the relationship.
Does your partner continuously degrade or belittle you? If you think that just because you aren’t being physically abused nothing is wrong, think again.
Emotional abuse can have devastating consequences on both physical and mental health. While emotional or psychological abuse may be difficult to pinpoint, examples abound.
Here are some characteristics:
• Using economic power to control you
• Threatening to leave
• Making you afraid by using looks, gestures or actions
• Smashing things
• Controlling you through minimizing, denying and blaming
• Making light of the abuse and not taking your concerns about it seriously
• Continually criticizing you, calling you names, shouting at you
• Emotionally degrading you in private, but acting charming in public
• Humiliating you in private or public
• Withholding approval, appreciation or affection as punishment
1. #katifaq Hi! I work in a clinic/hospital setting surrounded by docs & medical staff. My ED is really starting to get the best of me to the point where a hospitalization might be necessary. Do you think it’d be ok to tell my manager about what’s going on? We have a good relationship & she’s been a family friend even before she became my boss. I know ultimately it’s up to me, just need some input! thank u!
2. #Katifaq Hey here my question. My therapist keeps moving up my session. I email her because i am having a panic attack then she moves it have only had a few sessions but emailing her helps me. she told me i could and she wants me to.. is it bad to have sessions moved?
3. Hey Kati, I wasn’t comfortable tweeting you my question so I hope DMs are okay!! Why am I so attached to my female teachers? I am in 11th grade and ever since 9th grade, I’ve found myself becoming very close to one teacher each year. I will often go to them for advice, and yearn for attention. This has been driving me crazy for months because I just feel like I’m bothering them although they are nothing but nice to me! Thanks, love your videos!! :)
@KatiMorton #KatiFAQ Journal topic? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu1D3K7k3Dw … Thank your body parts for what they do for you & think of that when you want to criticise your appearance - your body’s functional, not an ornament. - I’m finding this really helpful :)
1. Hey kati! It’s my first question for #katiFAQ! Why is it bad to use exercise to “purge” ?
2. #katifaq What do you do when your friends are also struggling and they are your main support system? You don’t want to trigger them or further overwhelm them by talking about what you are going through but you don’t want to push them away either by being secretive and closed off. It’s a hard time having a regular discussion sometimes when you are all feeling low. How do you deal with that?
3. #Katifaq, HELP! Kati what do I do when I’ve told my family about my ED and asked to consider professional help, and my family feels hurt and offended that all there help, still isn’t enough? I dont want them to feel like that, but I know I need HELP!
How to journal? What if I don’t like it? What if I can’t get started?
1. #katifaq what is the best way to talk to your children about your self injury scars? Or your self injury in general?
2. Anyways, my question is, would this be considered “sexual abuse”? My moms ex boyfriend, used to put me on his shoulders, or just pick me up playfully, but the thing is, he would always put his hand on my vagina, and usually his finger/thumb would be in my vagina, or almost in. This is very very awkward to write, as I’ve never told anyone, and I’m very embarrassed that I never told him to stop. The reason I’m asking this question, is because I’d like to tell someone and start going to therapy, I just don’t know if it would be taken seriously, or if this is even “sexual abuse”… Thank you so much. I really hope you answer, I’d really like to get your input. I love your videos Kati, thanks for doing what you do!!
3. #katiFAQ I very rarely get sexually aroused. I think this is because of my ED and depression. Also I was sexually abused at various points from 9 to 15. I get physical pain if I get aroused. Other than an STD check I’ve never had anything checked out. My GP said that given I have no continence issues it is unlikely that anything is physcially wrong. I haven’t said about the pain. I don’t know if it is a physical thing or a PTSD thing. It is worse during flashbacks. I don’t know what to do.
Journal Topic: (Thanks Emalyn)
“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.”
How much anxiety is too much? Website/YouTube Wednesday! #KatFAQ
1. I wondered if any of you have experience recovering from an ED without the support of a treatment team. Treatment isn’t an option for me at the moment, and I’ve been finding my meals really difficult lately. I don’t know whether it’s better to be planning my meals ahead of time to reach all the recommended daily amounts, or letting my body give me the cues and eating when I’m hungry, stopping when I’m full. The problem is that I find it very difficult to make a healthy plan – it often triggers me to restrict, but with intuitive eating I think I drift towards restriction unconsciously.
Any tips would be really great, do you go for intuitive eating or meal planning in recovery? I’m a little stuck at the moment!!
2. #katifaq (hope I’m not to late). Can older people have eating disorders? My grandmother just turned 70 and she doesn’t eat. She isn’t super skinny but she seems to be losing weight quite rapidly and complains saying she is fat all the time. I’m worried about her! Help! What can I do to help her???
3. #KatiFAQ Hi Kati, when do you know how much anxiety is too much? For example, last year I used to throw up from stress almost every morning, and from what I remember that lasted several months (I’ve overcome that now, although I still throw up from time to time). Is that considered excessive? Thank you, I love your videos. :)
Find two songs that describe you(or your mental illness). Or two poems. Or plants, animals, shoes, really anything that you can find meaning in. The first one that you pick is who you consider yourself to be now. The second one you pick is the one you want to become some day. Then somehow express how you’re going to get there(whether it’s through journaling, painting, signing.. etc.).
That might be confusing, so here’s my example. I chose a snake and an elephant to describe me and my mental illness. Snake because I find them sneaky, sometimes mean and poisonous. They also get a really bad rap. A lot of people are scared of them. Then the elephant, what I’m working towards. There are many reasons I chose an elephant, but one of them is because they leave big footprints wherever they go. I’ve always felt invisible, but no one can ignore the elephant in the room. They have a great memory and I want to be memorable. Since I’m quiet and shy, people don’t usually remember me. I’m working towards getting over my anxiety so I can be more outgoing and leave an impact on the people I interact with.
Is it normal for a therapist to cry in session? #katiFAQ
1. The journal topic was good…but what about if my eating disorder didn’t start as a coping skill? I started to diet because I had been overweight and have felt ugly my entire life. What do you do when your clothes being too tight and the thought of gaining the weight back really are the most triggering thing? I don’t have some family drama or past abuse to cope with…I just know that no matter how ugly I feel now, gaining back the weight would make me even uglier. I’m eating again, but I’m not sure if I’m ok with it. #katifaq
2. #katiFAQ Hi! We have been discussing this some in my psychology class so I wanted your input. I know several people responded with similar questions: QUESTION: Hi Kati, Is it common for therapist to cry during session? Is it perceived as unprofessional or is it a normal and okay reaction to client’s stories? I am really curious about this because I have a friend who’s therapist would cry often during session with her and she liked it because she felt like the therapist understood her and it helped the relationship, however I also can see how it can be an uncomfortable thing for some clients. I would love to hear your thoughts. Is a therapist crying during a session okay or not? Thank you.
3. #KatiFAQ I have a relationship question. People often say that with the right person a relationship is “easy”—-but if you have a history of childhood abuse and SH/ED behaviors then will a romantic relationship ever be “easy”? How do you know if you should give up on a relationship or keep working at it? Do you ever recommend couples’ counseling? 4. Hey Kati, So my therapist suggested that I write a letter to my abuser, and expressing details and all my anger out onto paper. Since I have started doing that, I feel like I am reliving everything again…The memories, the pain, etc. I know its for a good purpose, but I been really battling my thoughts and its has got real hard. I don’t know what to do about it. I feel completely confused! Please Help!
Thanks Kat22!! Hey Kati “To get up when you are down, to fight more intensely when you are struggling; to put in the extra effort when you are in sheer pain, to comeback when nobody expects you to, and to stand tall when everyone is pulling you down are what make a champion.” By Apoorve Dubey
My counselor said she’s frustrated with me! Help! Facebook Friday! #KatiFAQ
1. Do u ever have ed patients in therapy that have NO idea anymore what they like? Colors, music, styles…I feel lost. You said that trying new things will help. But how can if we like nothing, trying new things will help. i know that i dont like anything even the new stuff.
2. #KATIFAQ! ! My counselor told me she is frustrated. Cause I ask for help but don’t accept the help so she doesn’t know how to help me. I don’t realize im doing that. I feel bad she is frustrated. I’m also frustrated. Does this mean im a untreatable client? ! I’ve been seeing 2 counselors and a social worker for a yr/ yr in a half. Plus saw counselors b4 that. Im gonna be 21, and im not improving. I refuse hospitals cuz im scared and my family wld b really mad. I don’t want to have that happen again. How can I improve? Or is this my life?
3. #KatiFAQ Hey Kati, I’m not sure if this is too late, but in your recent video you mentioned that a person has to be ‘ready’ to heal, but how do we know that we are ready and how can we prepare ourselves to become ready? I’m not sure whether that actually makes sense, so feel free to avoid this question. Also thank you for all that you do , you are truly a phenomenal person!
I watched the film ‘about time’ last week, about a man who can travel back in time over his own timeline. At the end he said ‘I live each day as if I’ve come back to enjoy it as my last and enjoy all the wonderful, little moments of my amazing, ordinary life. After all, we’re all travelling through time together, the least we can do is enjoy the ride.’ I loved this because it reminded me of the joy that can be found in the ordinary moments of the most mundane day. There’s beauty in everyone’s life if you just look for it.