My counselor said she’s frustrated with me! Help! Facebook Friday! #KatiFAQ
1. Do u ever have ed patients in therapy that have NO idea anymore what they like? Colors, music, styles…I feel lost. You said that trying new things will help. But how can if we like nothing, trying new things will help. i know that i dont like anything even the new stuff.
2. #KATIFAQ! ! My counselor told me she is frustrated. Cause I ask for help but don’t accept the help so she doesn’t know how to help me. I don’t realize im doing that. I feel bad she is frustrated. I’m also frustrated. Does this mean im a untreatable client? ! I’ve been seeing 2 counselors and a social worker for a yr/ yr in a half. Plus saw counselors b4 that. Im gonna be 21, and im not improving. I refuse hospitals cuz im scared and my family wld b really mad. I don’t want to have that happen again. How can I improve? Or is this my life?
3. #KatiFAQ Hey Kati, I’m not sure if this is too late, but in your recent video you mentioned that a person has to be ‘ready’ to heal, but how do we know that we are ready and how can we prepare ourselves to become ready? I’m not sure whether that actually makes sense, so feel free to avoid this question. Also thank you for all that you do , you are truly a phenomenal person!
I watched the film ‘about time’ last week, about a man who can travel back in time over his own timeline. At the end he said ‘I live each day as if I’ve come back to enjoy it as my last and enjoy all the wonderful, little moments of my amazing, ordinary life. After all, we’re all travelling through time together, the least we can do is enjoy the ride.’ I loved this because it reminded me of the joy that can be found in the ordinary moments of the most mundane day. There’s beauty in everyone’s life if you just look for it.
Is it selfish that I don’t want my sister to see my therapist? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
1. @KatiMorton #katifaq Do you need to have a ‘diagnosis’ by someone qualified to get therapy?
2. How can I better help people online? I try and relate if someone has a problem similar to something I’ve been through, or empathize if not & be as positive as possible. But what can you do when someone doesn’t want to accept anything positive? There’s only so many times you can tell someone they deserve to be more happy and that things will improve (which I completely believe) without it sounding trite. No one should feel alone or unhappy, especially if I could do something to stop it, but I end up feeling helpless, any tips?
3. #KatiFAQ Saturday my coworkers and I are going to a gun range after work, but I am super triggered by guns because shooting myself was one of my suicide plans. Although I am no longer suicidal, It is uber triggering to hold a gun. What do I? Attendance is mandatory. Can I go and not participate? Should I talk to my manager and tell him the truth? I just started this job not too long ago and I don’t want to be that guy who doesn’t do everything. I just don’t feel comfortable holding a gun, not because I am afraid that I am going to kill myself, but because I know I will have an anxiety attack from it triggering my suicidal urges. I don’t want to go back to that place ever again, so what should I do? Thanks for your response, and I love each and every video you put out. XOX
4. #katifaq I have a younger sister who is 15 yrs old. She was smoking and drinking and having sex so I told my parents to protect her. Now my mom wants her to start seeing my therapist. I don’t want her to start seeing my therapist that I have been seeing for 4yrs now and my therapist is the one who recommended me tell my parents about her bad behaviours. I’m really confused? Is it okay to feel this way?? Or am I just really selfish?? I want her to be able to see a therapist because I know how much it can help but I don’t want her to see mine
Also, if it hasn’t been done before, I have a journal topic. Write a letter to one of your struggles. Say whatever you want. Call it names. Get angry. Tell it how it has made you a better person. Tell it how you will overcome it. Just let everything out onto the page.
Is it possible to have more than one eating disorder? Tumblr Tuesday! #KatiFAQ
1. #KatiFAQ Do you think it’s bad to follow Tumblr blogs that make posts about how depressed they are, and just post depressing things in general? I like to look at these because I can relate to the posts and it makes me feel like I’m not alone, but at the same time I feel like it’s perpetuating my depression and only making it more “real” and prominent in my life.
2. #Katifaq is self harm always associated with BPD or depression?
3. #katifaq hey kati I was wondering if it’s possible to have more than one eating disorder. Like can you be anorexic and not eat any food but still be bulimic and make yourself puke. Or can you exercise excessively even though you don’t eat a lot and you make yourself puke. Can you have a three of these eating disorders? Thanks.
“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
How can I stop feeling worthless? Facebook Friday! #KatiFAQ
1. #KatiFAQ Hi Kati. I was wondering what emotional abuse is. I understand the concept but how do you know if you have been emotionally abused? Also what is the difference between emotional and mental abuse? I hope you answer this, thank you so much. Mallory
2. #Katifaq - Accepting sympathy? Hey Kati! I absolutely hate it when my therapist shows any sort of sympathy towards me, is this normal? I’m still working through some past trauma & it makes me super uncomfortable to hear her say things like ‘I’m so sorry that happened’ or ‘that had to be very scary’ or anything along those lines… Showing sympathy doesn’t change anything and it’s not like she could really ever understand how I felt/feel about it. In addition, it makes me even more uncomfortable to hear her say that I was ‘abused’. I know that I was, but I feels like I’m being labeled as defective or something. Can I ask her to not say those kinds of things? Or is it something I need to hear/learn to accept? Thanks!!
3. #KatiFAQ How can you overcome feeling worthless? Throughout my childhood I was sexually abused by my dad and my mum did nothing about it. I want to recover but I don’t know how to motivate myself when I feel so worthless.
What do you consider your greatest accomplishment to date.. and why? Share with me!! xox
What’s considered sexual abuse? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
1. #katifaq how can you tell whether your friends are ‘toxic friends’ or not?
2. #KatiFAQ How do I start with a new therapist? Do I have to tell them everything I have already talked about? I signed a release form that my therapist has. What do therapists tell other therapists when transferring a client? Thanks so much!
3. #KatiFAQ Hi Kati! What’s considered to be sexual abuse? When I was about 7 years old this person forced me to do some things.I say force because I hated it and I didn’t know what to do to stop it. He was only 4 years older than me.
We were children so there wasn’t sex involved but now when I’m in recovery I think that it did affect me more than I thought. Thank you! xo
4. #katifaq not sure if this will be in time but here goes. So I’m over a year clean from self-harm but lately the urges have been getting Worse, especially since a bad break up. Instead of acting on these urges, I’ve started to drink and smoke a lot more, Is it normal to replace one self destructive behaviour with another?
Hi Kati! So this isn’t a quote but really a mental exercise that has really helped me feel grounded. It is from an article called “How to Beat Panic Attacks: 3 Simple Mindfulness Techniques”
“If, like me, you find that closing your eyes makes you panic more, open your eyes and start acknowledging your surroundings. Say hello to your hands, your feet, the ground, the ceiling, a chair, a tree, or anything at all you spot around you. If you feel like this is ridiculous, it is! Allow yourself to chuckle and have a sense of humor about it.
It may sound ridiculous but it really helps me remember where I am and be more conscious!
Thank you to Megan for making her video today!! It is in my playlist “kind words from others”
Why does religion help some people? Tumblr Tuesday!! #KatiFAQ
1. #Katifaq hey Kati, I have horrible anxiety and panic attacks. I’m a junior in a very large school but could easily switch to a school 1/4 the size. I’d know NO ONE. Would you suggest to a client to move schools if it could possibly help.?
2.#KatiFAQ I haven’t seen my therapist in a year or so but I left very abruptly because my parents couldn’t pay for it. I’ve gotten a lot better since then but I still want to talk through some things with her. how would I go about the first appointment after not seeing her for a year. I’m scared we won’t have the same connection as we did.
3. I got this one in my PO Box 2 weeks ago: Are you religious? Even if you are not, why or how do you think going to church or praying seems to help a lot of people struggling with depression? Like, is there a scientific reason why it helps some people? Thanks!
Meeting people in real life and talking face to face. It can be so powerful to actually see someone and feel their understanding and empathy.
Will going to therapy cause me to completely lose my mind? Website/YouTube Wednesday! #KatiFAQ
1. #katiFAQ Can you recover if you’re job focuses on your body? I am in professional training as a dancer, actress and singer and you mentioned before how you’ve had clients who did these jobs & found it harder to recover. Because what I do entails hours of exercise a day, is it possible for me to recover from my ed? I know that I need to in order to be healthy enough to fulfill my career, but my body is always going to be judged. Thanks! Been wondering and hearing conflicting things about this, which really upsets me because I know I’m passionate about the career I’ve chosen and would be lost without it xxx
2. #KatiFAQ What do you think about holistic medicine (acupuncture) for mental health related things, such as depression, anxiety, and eating disorders? What do you think of it as a compliment to therapy, or an alternative to medication?
I know the World Health Organization recognizes it as an effective form of treatment for many conditions. What do you think I recently tried acupuncture and I think it was extremely helpful.
3. Hi Kati!! Thank you for all you do, you are just amazing! Anyway, I am going into my junior year of college and all summer I have been seeing the same therapist three times a week. I really love her and am making great progress. I am going to school in a little over a week, far away from home and I won’t be able to meet with her in person. We have planned to continue sessions over skype three times a week. I was just wondering if you think it will be equally productive? I am just worried because I feel like meeting someone in person is more beneficial because therapists pick up on little things like body language but I don’t want to switch because I feel so comfortable with her.
4. Hi Kati,
I have been referred to a hospital mental health section to deal with my issues by my psychiatrist. He referred me last year also but I refused to go hoping that I will just be able to cope on my own. The thing is I was in therapy a few years ago in CAMHS but she left when I was just getting better. I’m scared to trust someone again and I am petrified to talk& open up about where ally problems have come from (childhood sexual abuse from 8yrs-14yrs). When I let myself think about what happened its as if he is inside my head& controls me. I’m not in control of my thoughts or actions and am worried I will kill myself if I start to open up about it. But clearly going on the way I am is not healthy and I’m just getting worse. I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I’ve never spoke about it cause I had a court case for 3eeeks about it and had to speak in court and everything. (He got not guilty)
I want to get better, but I genuinely feel if I go down this route of talking about it all again I will completely loose my mind. I need your advice. Sometimes I think I can’t be bothered to fight anymore cause he’s already won xxx
@KatiMorton the greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people will think. #journaltopic Thanks Brent!
Is it normal to love my abuser? Facebook Friday! #KatiFAQ
1. #katiFAQ hi kati I’m 18 and I was raped for 7 years by my neighbor he is 50 years old , I’ve been seeing him every day for 7 years and I feel that I love him although I started feeling this new so is it normal or do I need help to get through this ?! Please help .
2. #KatiFAQ hey Kati. i have depression and anxiety but they are both self diagnosed. i have asked my parents to take me somewhere, where i can talk to someone and get help. but the are ashamed and don’t want to believe that i have problems. its really hard because i have to hide everything from them. what are some ways i can get help without them knowing? btw i LOVE your videos
3. #KatiFAQ: hi Kati, my question is: is it possible to have bpd tendencies but not the actual disorder? I went back to seeing my old therapist after being discharged from treatment and one of the first things she asked me was if I was diagnosed with bpd. They didn’t tell me I was but it seems my therapist thinks I am I guess?! So is it possible to have just the symptoms? Thanks!!
Hi Kati, Thank you for everything you do. I have a suggestion for a journal topic. “Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, of work around it.” -Michael Jordan I love this quote because no matter what come in your way you should never give up. Even if you hit a wall and you’re stuck there for awhile never give up because you will always find a way to get over it. Thank you again for everything you do and have an amazing weekend. -Alexandra
How do I overcome my apathy for recovery? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
1. What Is Outpatient Group Therapy Like For Eating Disorders I Never Been Their But I’m Going Soon And I’m Really Scared. Will I have to eat there?
2. #KatiFAQ is there such thing as only having an ed at a certain time of day like at night? @KatiMorton
3. I will be doing really well, and then for no reason I will just stop caring about recovery, my goals and myself. Nothing that used to drive me before matters. How can I fight through this apathy? Thanks.
Journal Topic: Thanks Millie!
“We cannot judge a song by it’s duration, nor by the number of notes, we must judge it by the way it touches and lifts our soul” –anon
This quote always helps me to focus on the things that really matter in life. Your appearance and all those little things you think you need to be perfect, don’t matter, what really matters is the way you lift other people and the ways you can bring happiness into the world.
How can I let myself cry?!? Website/YouTube Wednesday! #KatiFAQ
1. #katifaq What is your opinion on documentaries, movies, and TV shows on eating disorders and self harm? Do you think it might glamorize it and give people ideas or do you think it spreads awareness? Also do non disordered people watch things like that? Thanks!
2. #KatiFAQ How do I know which level of ED treatment I should aim for? I’m currently seeing a counselor, and I’ll be able to see a GP soon. How do I know if this is enough, or if I should seek further treatment? Thanks!
3. #KatiFAQ What are your thoughts on the Rubber Band Theory for people who self harm? I was just given an elastic from my therapist to use to try and replace cutting, but I have also heard it doesn’t “count” because you are still harming yourself. Any thoughts? Thank you!
4. Kati I have been in years of counseling and even been in a psych ward and a residential home for girls for 6 months and I can tell my story over and over again about the abuse, and all that fun stuff….but I just cant seem to let myself cry during the sessions…I think parts of it is fear of letting go….I hate to lose control, which is why I still struggle with Self harm (11 years) and an eating disorder(9 years)…Could it possibly be that I fear of getting betrayed by my counselor again? I have been to about 6 different counselors and the first two betrayed my trust with them. Is that causing a stumbling block with my current one? Could trust play a factor? I want to cry I really do. I just cant get myself to do it..its like everything numbs up in session….
Journal Topic: Thanks Rachel!! xox
Hi Kati! So this isn’t really a quote but I think it is definitely something to think about/thought provoking. Today in therapy, I was complaining about my ED and things just being really difficult in recovery. I said how I hope that what I have been through is the hardest thing that I will ever face in my life. To which my therapist responded, “Believe it is until life proves you wrong.” I just thought this was amazing and could maybe help others in their outlooks in any given situation
1. #KatiFAQ: I often forget the work that I’ve done in therapy, shortly after I leave appointments (like hours after), especially my trauma therapy. Is this normal? How do I stop forgetting what I’ve worked on Right away?
2. #katiFAQ- Hi, Kati. Are eating disorders racist? I’ve often heard that only Caucasians can have them. I go days without eating when really stressed and restrict on a regular basis. It has caused some concern for friends and family; however, I don’t believe I can have one since I’m African-American. Are eating disorders really only “a white girl problem”? I really love your videos and hope you can answer this. Thanks.
3. #katifaq Hi! My question is how do I know if I should switch therapist or if it’s just my depression resisting? I’ve been going to therapy for over a year now and I don’t feel any better. I have talked to my therapist but nothing seems to change.
Journal topic?? “Great things are done by series of small things brought together” I just made a list of all the things I have done to get this far. Eg. How I prepared for appointments etc. Made me realize how many challenges I’ve overcome and how all the little things add up! Xx
1. @KatiMorton #katifaq Is it possible to break the habit of black and white thinking, or is my thought process stuck like this for good?
2. #KatiFAQ Im forcing my mom into treatment today when she comes home. Any advice? Her 17 yr old daughter is telling her this.
3. @KatiMorton can I go to school w a mental illness? Please read #katifaq
Something I have been doing to help boost or lift my mood. When I see people on the street or in the office etc. I always force myself to give them a compliment in my mind. I know it sounds silly but it forces my brain into a positive instead of negative mood.
Shout out to Jess May who is in the hospital right now and just having an overall hard time.
1. Hi Kati, thanks for all you do for everyone. I’m sure you have 100s of asks so not sure if you’ll see this one. I was diagnosed 2years ago with BPD& dysthymic disorders & have been in therapy for over 5 years (I’m now 20) Are there patients with BPD that struggle with it forever? I feel like I’ve done everything, DBT, 5 inpatients, meds, therapy, but still feel like I’m always going to have this distorted thought process. I do have an AMAZING therapist of 4 years but I’m afraid I’ll get ‘dumped’
2. #katifaq hey kati, love your videos! Anyway I’m just really curious about something. I know that what your clients tell you is confidential, but can you, as a therapist, tell your own personal therapist something that one of your clients tells you? Not sure if that makes sense. But if a client tells you something that upset you, could you talk to your therapist about it? Or would that be breaking confidentiality?
3. #katiFAQ Hi Kati, my question is … If you have been diagnosed with bipolar what would the best kind of therapy would be? My therapist specialises in DBT but from my understanding that is most useful for treating BPD, is that correct? What sort of therapy/therapist should I be searching for? Thanks heaps!! Love your channel! xo
4. Oh goodness I forgot to hashtag my question ! #katifaq I’ll ask again , so the clinical psychologist I have to see weekly said I shouldn’t try an control my anxiety , I shouldn’t control my breathing , I shouldn’t clench my fist and I shouldn’t try an distract my self from the anxious thoughts , I just don’t understand ? What’s ur opinion ?
5. #katiFAQ why do ed’s often change? Eg. Anorexic to bulimic? Love your channel it’s fantastic
6. Hi Kati. I’ve been dealing with an ED for about 14 years and SH for about 8, but I don’t feel like I want to “recover”. Any tips?
Hey everyone! Surprise video on a Saturday!! I made this video because I really need your help! In order to be considered for the Steamy Awards this year I need to have fan submissions :) So if you could copy and paste the link above into your browser and nominate me that would be wonderful!! Also, if you could share this video that could help too :) Have a wonderful weekend!! xox
1. katiFAQ is there such thing as turning off your eating disorder for your family, so while your living at home you don’t carry out any ED behaviours? Or does that mean you never had an ED to begin with?? Thanks! xx
2. katifaq Hey Kati! Do therapist ever feel guilty? My therapist tells me to text her whenever Im upset and feel like cutting. So I do. I text her and most of the time she will respond to me quickly and talk me through things. But what about when she doesn’t reply and I go through with my urges to cut? I don’t want her to feel guilty. Do therapist ever feel guilty about stuff like this, or am I just over thinking everything? Have you ever had this happen to you?
3. Hi! This has always been lingering in my mind. Four years ago, I experienced tactile hallucinations that were pretty terrifying. I honestly believed and felt that bugs were living in and crawling around in my skin. I was never treated for it at all – it only lasted for about 2 weeks before I was able to snap out of it, and I’ve never hallucinated since. To this day, I’ve never been diagnosed with anything, but I’ve never forgotten about those 2 weeks either. I guess I’m a bit delusional but nothing that really hinders my life, I think.
My question is: does this make me more prone to hallucinating in the future? Is it possible that what happened back then did have significance after all? I’m just wondering because I never did anything to cause it, I was living a fairly healthy lifestyle at the time.
"Everyone wants love, no one wants pain, but you can’t get a rainbow without a little rain."