1. Kati, what do you think about two people with mental illnesses dating one another? I suffer from bpd and major depression and my partner has ptsd and sometimes it seems like the symptoms of our disorders trigger each other, but we also know how to understand and take care of each other during more depressive episodes. Also, he’s in therapy and on meds and I’m not anymore and my symptoms have been relapsing. When two people with mental illness are in a relationship how do they both navigate and dissect their negative voices and distorted thinking from what’s really going on? I don’t want to be a martyr or self sabotage or push him away because I really love him, but I’m afraid of being a hinder to his recovery too. Could our relationship be healthy and safe even if at the moment I’m not? Help…
2. #katifaq hi kati I’ve somehow managed to get back in touch with a friend I went to school with. Now I haven’t got any friends and we picked up really well. She although could see my self esteem is low! Asked me why. I tried to say something but I panicked and said I can’t talk about this and changed the subject. What do I do? She has known me since I was 12. Too long, how to repair a friendship please.
3. #katiFAQ Is it possible to get out of a depression without seeing a therapist or using meds? i’ve seen your video about signs of depression (& other similar videos) & i match all of the signs, it has been going on for a year & it keeps getting worse , and there’s no cause for this depression ( no traumatic event or abuse or something like that). Ps: i don’t have the courage to come forward & see a therapist & i don’t want to be treated with meds. Please help
Journal Topic: Thanks Rachel
I recently purchased the book “This I Believe.” It is made up of essays from people of all walks of life answering the essay prompt “This i believe.” I thought it could be interesting to talk about. I feel like when one is struggling with any form of mental illness it is so had to remember who we are or what we stand for. But try to answer this question. There are no wrong answers and it can be as simple or complicated as you want.
Here is mine:
“I believe in truth. I believe that love can have the power to transcend. To breakthrough the walls you believe are built for protection, but that only lead to war within your thoughts. I believe that someday, someone out there will make me believe that their love can surpass my uncertainty, my vulnerability, my scars. This I believe.”
What does “being sectioned” mean? Tumblr Tuesday! #KatiFAQ
1. #KatiFAQ Hey Kati! What are some of the requirements to get on medication for depression/anxiety? I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety but they never offered medication to me as an option. I was wondering what things are taken into mind when deciding if a client should get a prescription to help. Thanks!
2. #KatiFAQ Can sexual abuse influence your sexuality? If so, does the abuse have to occur during childhood, or could it occur in adulthood and still influence one’s sexuality?
3. #KATIFAQ hey kati , what is ‘being sectioned’ is it something do do with eating disorders ? What is it ?
Journal Topic: Thanks Kaylinnajlouth
I never really thought about how much it meant to live.Thought about taking the exit The easy way isn’t it suppose to be the best? Never really thought about how much I had to give.Friends? Who the hell needs them?Pictures never change but people always fade. Teachers always told me stand up for who I am. I was taught different. In school it was always think before you speak. No forget that shit. Its stand up for what I believe in. Don’t back down daddy always said. Mom taught me what was right. Always walk away when there is a fight. I lay there letting them abuse me. They always seem to amuse me. With every hit I take my breathe comes more shallow.Laying there half dead. Thinking should I stay? Close my eyes keep silent there words will drown you if you let them. Im friends with my demons. The angels lost. Don’t let your soul die.Don’t let things get bad. You have control you can win this fight!
Facebook Friday! 1. Sorry if this is really obvious, but is there a difference between distraction techniques and coping mechanisms when dealing with self harm urges? I haven’t self harmed in a few months because I’ve become quite good at distracting myself by listening to music etc, but the feelings still come back over and over again without becoming any weaker or less frequent. I think this might be because I haven’t actually developed any healthy coping mechanisms so my brain still decides I should sh, but what actually are some examples of healthy coping mechanisms?
2. #KATIFAQ When i have negative thoughts, how do i decide which i should argue back to and which i need to try and just dismiss without getting sucked in to a pointless ‘discussion’ with? Sometimes arguing back helps but other times it leads to a whole load of more answers back from the negative ‘voice’.
3. #KatiFAQ Hey Kati! I really need an answer to this question I’ve been nagged with. How long can my eating disorder survive? I stopped recovery 3 years ago and I think I’m close to relapsing, but is that even possible? I self-harmed last night for the first time in a year and I’m really getting worried. Is it even possible for an eating disorder to survive for nearly 7 years? HELP!
Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave or lose. To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems in your life, you are the only solution. –Jo Coudert
1. Hi Kati, if you notice that a client has started to given up hope again and they tell you that they don’t really care about anything and they have no motivation for anything what do you suggest them to do?
2. is it bad for me to rely on YOU as my source of comfort everyday,like if i was having a bad day i would watch ur videos?
3. hi kati! I just came back from my doctor and he suggested along with my other therapy to start occupational therapy as well! Have you ever work with any? What is it exactly? Thanks!!
Journal Topic: Thanks Lauren!
"Everyone wants to be the sun to lighten up everyone’s life, but why not be the moon, to brighten in the darkest hour."
1. Hey Kati, why do I crave sympathy from others? I’m willing to go as far as hurting myself just to seek sympathy from mostly teachers at school. I’m not sure if this is part of my father being an alcoholic who doesn’t say “I love you” or want to hang out with me but I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Please help. Thank you for all your videos they help me get through a lot
2. Is it common to be attached to using a certain plate/ bowl/ etc during you ED recovery? Is it harmful if it reduces your anxiety around eating and why do we do this?
3. I always feel worthless and hopeless, like my life is stuck in a place I don’t want and that it will never get better. Like even the fairly low expectations I have for my life, even those seem impossible and that everything I do is utterly pointless and just a waste of my time and worse, a waste on those around me. People seem to think I have potential, that I’m good at things, that I’m a good person, but I feel like just telling them that I’m sorry, but they were wrong and I’m sorry for wasting their time.
I feel like everything is wrong in my life and I only have myself to blame. Honestly there really isn’t much wrong with my life, which mostly just makes me feel worse about the way I am. I think about suicide a lot, practically every day for as long as I can remember.
Yet I don’t even care enough to want to change things, myself, my situation, or my thoughts. I don’t want to get “better” anymore. I tried counseling a bit and didn’t get much out of it; Paxil worked a bit better, but eventually just stopped a long time ago now.
I feel like I deserve this. Do you hear sentiments like that a lot and how do you handle them?
Ethics and Therapy! Is your therapist treating you right?
Since I have heard from so many of you that you have had bad experiences in therapy I wanted to talk about what’s appropriate and what you can expect in your own therapy. The first being:
1. Boundaries: you should be able to learn some things in therapy and try them on your own. Your therapist shouldn’t be in touch with you every day or tell you it’s okay to hang out outside of therapy. We need to keep our therapeutic relationship safe and actually therapeutic. So notice if your therapist isn’t setting up safe boundaries for you. This could lead to you being hurt or not actually learning how to help yourself in the moment.
2. Setting expectations: Letting my clients know that therapy is a process, and it is their unique process. I cannot promise things will work out or get better in a short time frame. I can only promise that we will work together and do everything in our power to get through it. But because everyone situation is different, and we can only change what we do, I cannot promise things will turn out the way you had planned.
3. Being clear about the process. Letting my clients know how therapy works and that there are limitations to confidentiality is important. I don’t want it to be a surprise to them that I have to call CPS to report child abuse if that is something I feel is happening in their home. In order for our relationship to work, I need to be honest about these things.
I hope this helps you better prepare for therapy and know whether or not you have found one that is ethically sound. You have rights too! And you deserve to have a therapist that takes your treatment seriously :)
1. #katifaq hi Kati- hope all is well here’s my question : would it be appropriate for me to ask my therapist to come and see one of my dance performances? I’ve been seeing her since March and will be continuing to see her for my depression, eating disorder, ect. My show isn’t until January but would it be ok to ask her to come? Would that be overstepping boundaries? Thanks!
2. #katiFAQ Hey Kati, I’m being bullied a lot at work, and I’m not sure how to deal with it, I’ve tried to stand up for myself several times but it always backfires, making me feel even smaller. I was bullied as a child in school and I was emotionally abused by my sister, so I tend to just take it and not say anything, but lately I’ve been coming home from work and just crying my eyes out. What can I do?? Help! Keep up the awesome videos!
3. Can we have PTSD even if we cant remember all the details of our abuse?
Journal Topic: Thanks Lydia
"dont worry about those who talk behind your back, there are behind you for a reason" ~unknown
What are you worrying about this weekend that you shouldn’t??MY FREE WORKBOOKS:
1. #KatiFAQ how can you cope in a close relationship with someone who has depression? I feel as if I’m trying all the time to make an effort, be there for her & prove I care, & yet the only things she picks up on are the times I don’t reply immediately or forget to do something & that, to her, proves I don’t care. I know it’s her illness but I find it really hard to put in so much love & it not matter. I’m ashamed to say I’m starting to resent it. What can I do?
2. Could i be faking a depression?I’m 21 year old girl,and I have checked out symptoms on depression and I match with being irritable, getting tired, headaches, tight throat, nail biting, overwhelming feelings, numbness, overthinking isolation, not wanting to communicate with anyone, losing interest in stuff etc. but I dont know if this is just normal or if im making this all up in my head. This actually started for about a year , and it intensified for the past months.
3. #KatiFAQ Whenever I see or hear that “recovery is a choice that only you can make” or anything along those lines I feel so guilty that I am not recovered yet, and that it is my fault yet again because I am not recovered yet. In your opinion, what does “recovery is a choice” actually mean? Does it mean that if I wanted to recover I would be and every mistake or relapse or spiral is me not trying hard enough or not wanting it enough or not making the choice?
Life is like riding a bicycle, in order to keep your balance you have to keep moving.
1. KatiFAQ Hi Kati, can a therapist keep changing your diagnosis? At first when I (re) started therapy a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with dystimic disorder. Later she changed it to chronic depression and now she changed it again, to PTSD. Can a therapist keep changing your diagnosis, and why/ why not?
2. #katiFAQ Hey Kati,is it possible to stay on medication for life? I’ve been diagnosed with OCD,social anxiety and depression and immediately put on meds(Zoloft).I feel completely reborn,all my anxiety and depression gone but I’m afraid they will reduce the medication intake.
3. Hey Kati, recently I was told by my therapist that I’m “not my depression and anxiety” and to work on identifying my identity without either of those diagnoses. How am I meant to separate my depression and anxiety from my personality, especially when I’m a naturally pessimistic person? I’m not even sure I am much of anything without them, because I’ve shaped my life and personality to include and give power to them. How do I find my identity without depression if I’m still suffering from it and where is the line drawn between my real voice and my depression voice? Sorry,that’s a lot of questions.
You’re a superstar kati, thank you for all your videos, they really help!
Journal Topic? “If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?”
1. #katiFAQ Hi Kati. I was wondering why I get so tired after disassociating. Every time I leave an appointment afterwards I feel like I need to take a nap. If my mind is shutting down and not doing anything while I disassociate then shouldn’t I be refreshed or calm or something not tired? Thanks so much for helping.
2. Don’t you have a right to your psychological records (therapist notes) from your therapist? I want mine but she wouldn’t release them to me. What do I do?
3. What type of therapy would you suggest for severe anxiety? (not interested in meds) I’ve been to many therapists and none of them helped. Is it possible that therapy isn’t for me? Why isn’t anything helpful? They are supposedly good with a PhD. Really giving up here.
Can you recover without working on the underlying issues? Twitter Thursday! #KatiFAQ
1. I went to my previous psychiatrist today for a second opinion. Same diagnosis. Bulimia it is. I just came home and threw everything in the kitchen away. Would that help in any way or would that take me to the other end?
2. Hi Kati. Thank you so much for all you do, it has really impacted my life. Recently I have been trying to get my life together and I have realized that I have a few at least semi toxic if not toxic people in my life. The problem is that they are the closest people to me. I am lucky enough to truly have amazing parents but there is so much negativity that surrounds them that it is becoming a problem for me. Also my best friend is struggling with issues and as much as I love her it is making it extremely hard to maintain a friendship with her. I feel like I can’t cut these people off as I love them more than anything. What can I do to sort of distance myself from the toxicity without ruining my relationship with them? Thank you so much!
3. This might be a silly question, but can you recover without really working on underlying issues? If you learn new healthy coping skills, & implement them instead of unhealthy coping skills, can you just replace the unhealthy skill with a healthy 1 until it becomes more 2nd nature than the unhealthy 1? I can’t see why not!
I was reading the mortal instruments series (really good btw) & a character said: “Heroes aren’t always the ones who win. They’re the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back They don’t give up. That’s what makes them heroes.” It really resonated with me, I think we often focus too much on whether or not we’re winning, when actually the getting back up & carrying on fighting is way more important.
1. #katifaq Hi! I work in a clinic/hospital setting surrounded by docs & medical staff. My ED is really starting to get the best of me to the point where a hospitalization might be necessary. Do you think it’d be ok to tell my manager about what’s going on? We have a good relationship & she’s been a family friend even before she became my boss. I know ultimately it’s up to me, just need some input! thank u!
2. #Katifaq Hey here my question. My therapist keeps moving up my session. I email her because i am having a panic attack then she moves it have only had a few sessions but emailing her helps me. she told me i could and she wants me to.. is it bad to have sessions moved?
3. Hey Kati, I wasn’t comfortable tweeting you my question so I hope DMs are okay!! Why am I so attached to my female teachers? I am in 11th grade and ever since 9th grade, I’ve found myself becoming very close to one teacher each year. I will often go to them for advice, and yearn for attention. This has been driving me crazy for months because I just feel like I’m bothering them although they are nothing but nice to me! Thanks, love your videos!! :)
@KatiMorton #KatiFAQ Journal topic? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu1D3K7k3Dw … Thank your body parts for what they do for you & think of that when you want to criticise your appearance - your body’s functional, not an ornament. - I’m finding this really helpful :)
Today I talk about dysthymia or what is now called persistent depressive disorder. What differentiates this from MDD is that this is a low grade depression that persists for 2 years or more! That is why it is so important that we begin talking about it, so that people don’t have to suffer in silence for so long! This can present itself as lack of motivation, irritability, anhedonia, insomnia, hypersomnia etc.